Owners of NYC Park Postpone Eviction of Occupy Wall Street


Yesterday, it was announced that Brookfield Office Properties (B.O.P.) wanted the park they owned cleared of Occupy Wall Street protesters. At 7pm the eviction of protesters was cancelled after a meeting with NYC government officials. It seems there was a disagreement as to who should carry out the operations.

B.O.P. officials believed that the NYPD would be handling the eviction duties. The NYC government agreed, but asked for B.O.P. to foot the bill to pay the police who would be conducting the eviction and subsequent arrests.

The B.O.P. argued that they had already paid their taxes and told the city officials to get on with it. NYC officials countered with the fact that the B.O.P., being a very wealthy property ownership group, did not actually pay enough in taxes to cover the costs.

One anonymous company official stated, "Why should we even pay taxes if the government won't intervene when we need them?"

Brookfield Office Properties promptly called off the eviction notice stating, "Fine, we don't care if people live in the streets. Let the city deal with it; we're not paying one red cent."

Occupy Wall Street Raises Awareness of Oppressed Muppets


In the wake of Occupy Wall Street, another long suffering group has caught the public's attention. Marrionette Puppets, or Muppets, have been exploited and oppressed for over thirty years.

In the 1950's Muppets were discovered by entertainment mogul Jim Henson. Immediately upon finding these playful, musical creatures, he realized the potential revenue potential of these colorful Muppets and signed them all, as a species, to lifetime, legally binding entertainment contracts. He then built an empire on their backs.

While there was limited success in the '50s with the Muppets appearing on television shows, the real goldmine came when Jim Henson partnered with the U.S. Government to provide poor children with educational programming on the Public Broadcasting Station. With the Federal Government as a partner, the Muppets challenges to their continued exploitation and oppression have gained little to no notice.

For 60 years this species has been relegated to non-citizen status. According to the government, they are "entertainment properties" and belong to the entertainment corporations who use them as slave labor. Since the late 1960s they have all been forced into a ghetto of New York City called Sesame Street where the Public Broadcasting Station has been televising their lives as a reality show.

All the popularity and fame these creatures have attained has done nothing to improve their living conditions. The most famous Muppets are still forced to live in garbage cans, alleyway nests, or backstage of a dilapidated theater owned by Scooter's uncle. The less famous are relegated to being tossed into boxes with hundreds of other Muppets and kept out of sight of the public so as not to bring to light their horrible living conditions.

This all changed when Occupy Wall Street started a few weeks ago. The Muppets of the Sesame Street ghetto decided to seize the opportunity to get their voice heard and started Occupy Sesame Street. For weeks now there have been Facebook posts, an email campaign, and protests to raise awareness of the plight of these poor Muppets.

Alas, it may all be in vain. The Muppets solidarity has begun to fracture as the Cookie Monster was bought off with the promise of being given 99% of all the cookies on Sesame Street. Snuffleupagus has come out against the rest of the Muppets claiming, "Most of them refuse to believe I even exist so that they don't have to share anything with me." Reporter Kermit the Frog has refused to cover the Occupy Sesame Street protests for the mainstream media severely limiting their exposure. Sadly the most famous Muppet, Elmo, who might actually be able to force the hand of government officials if he were to take part in demonstrations, years ago retreated into a world of his own imagining that he drew with crayons and has been catatonic ever since.

Occupy Sesame Street lives at the moment, but will soon die if the Muppets can't find some way to get their voices heard and taken seriously.